


Crazy

by gutterfortunecookie



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Bigotry & Prejudice, F/M, Fights, Happy Ending, Murder, Rage, Sarcasm, Shock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-19
Updated: 2016-06-19
Packaged: 2018-07-16 02:04:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7247713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gutterfortunecookie/pseuds/gutterfortunecookie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A young woman witnesses rage firsthand with a stranger during the slaughter of South Glade Mission Church.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crazy

Hate.

Verb.

Meaning to dislike intensely or passionate. Other definitions say feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward or detest or what the fuck every is justifiable for being superior to someone else.

I walked out at the wrong time but I couldn’t hold it anymore. Auntie Debbie came out of the bathroom and politely demanded to get ready. Nana had just died and the funeral was yesterday. The service was lovely and so many people were supportive to me. I was ashamed for not being in Kentucky enough to visit her but I blame my dad for most of that. After all these years, daddy issues linger. The girls didn’t know that I was here and I wanted it to stay that way. I was gone for so long and it would just feel weird to enter their lives.

Gracie stayed in touch with me but Alex and little Cheyenne didn’t even know who I was. Debbie was nice enough to take me in for the first few days while I stayed but soon I saw her true colors with me and a young Muslim boy were mugged as we were leaving the local library. Debbie picked me up from the hospital and made a scene, asking why he wasn’t arrested when really he took most of the beating so I could try to get away but I stayed by his side until the cops showed up.

I shook my head and closed the curtain to shield her Christian wrath from him as he was put under for the pain. I held my tongue and went home with her as I was scolded as a child for letting a Muslim help mug me but with my debit card and ID stolen and no way to get home, I had no choice but to sit in the passenger side of her dirty Buick and keep my mouth shut as she spewed the word of God.

“Pray with me.”

Another demand that I had to follow. She didn’t say out loud so I only held her hand and ignored every word that came from her mouth. Just two more days and I would be home and recluse from al the fucking bible-thumping racists. I don’t understand how Nana could have given birth to such a witch like her.

“Maggie!”

There was a slap to the side of my 26-year-old face that shook me as I used every bit of my strength to not bludgeon this bitch and crash her fucking car.

“Amen. What the fuck?!”

“Oh my Lord! I’m so sorry. I thought…”

“No, you weren’t thinking. Shit!”

“You did not learn that language from me.”

“No. I learned it from my Syrian uncircumcised lesbian vegan lover as we smoked one with Woody Harrelson while breastfeeding.”

Her mouth dropped as she pulled into the church that we were at the previous day. I look around and can already tell that they are all bigots just like her and would love nothing more than to walk into the church topless to make everything easier.

“You need Jesus!”

“Chill the fuck out. I was only kidding…”

Debbie moved from the cab with her purse under her hand and snarl to her lip.

“That’s a lot of talk for someone that doesn’t have a way to get back to sunny sin-filled Miami.”

She slammed the door as the gold cross necklace swung from the force of her hand.

“This bitch is trying to make me stab her.”

I had a pocket knife that I wasn’t able to use when I got mugged the night before. I got out of the cab and pushed the door shut as many smiling evangelical faces tried to greet me. Most of the crowd was starting to go inside as I was left in the sea of cars. Nana wasn’t one for pride and it would have been bad to try and dishonor her in such a way. She had taught me to turn my cheek whether they slapped me or not. Sorry to say that I had to dishonor her when I dove the end of my knife into the front tires of my dear old Auntie Debbie’s car.

I step back and look at my handiwork, then regret it knowing Debbie will know that I was the culprit so I figure that I turn to the rest of the cars in the lot and smile because my sharp knife will do it job. I quickly waved in and out of the cars, slashing left and right until and set my sights on a Jag.

“Please don’t. It’s a rental.”

I stop and meet the eyes of a gentleman as he’s just finishing his cigarette. For some reason, I can tell he’s like me and not like the rest of the people at the front of the church, filing in to start the sermon.

“Why afraid the ivory tower won’t give you your deposit back?”

“Into each life some rain must fall, my dear. I know you don’t belong here.”

“You neither but you got the money to get to Miami.”

“Wallet stolen?”

“Mugged. My way home is two hours through this shit.”

“Shame. Lucky for your bit of self-control. Shall we get this over with?”

He put out his cigarette and left into the church with his umbrella as I was left in the parking lot. Instead of me ripping his tires, I only swat at a bug that lands on his hood. The sound of an SUV, also something you don’t see in this part of Kentucky, made me turn to a black man moving from the vehicle with a suitcase and a young woman with what looked like metal boots. He gave me a wave and disappeared into the house across from the church.

I hold my breath and enter the church, seeing the pastor pull on a headset over the bald comb-over on his head. I see Debbie near the front in her yellow cardigan as she gracefully tucks one ankle in front of the over as she winks to the pastor.

“Children of God! Take your seats.”

I find none and lean against the wall as Debbie glares at me. I find the gentleman across the way as he takes a seat with everyone else. I sneak one of my earbuds into my ear through the collar of my shirt and let the first half hour go by.

Most of the sermon was filled with words that would have gotten me popped in the mouth when I was younger but everyone was spouting them as they held their hands high to the preacher. The gentleman looks around, bored as well as he is stopped by one of Debbie’s neighbors. She reminded me of a Pomeranian dog, small and mean as fuck as she tried to keep the gentleman in place. She stopped him again only for him to say something to her that made her double back with her jaw hanging open. I smiled and followed his eyes as he shrugged to me from the middle of the aisle. The little woman got to her feet and started yelling after him, calling him an infidel and other things. People started rising one by one as I thought the worst and I reached into my pocket for my knife.

My ear started to hurt as a piercing whine filled my ear. I looked to someone’s phone and saw the screen light up purple with Valentine’s logo being the last thing I remember.

Of course, there was the gun the gentleman had pointed to the little woman as he fired the shot.

I was knocked from my feet and turned to Mrs. Helms. She used to watch me whenever dad went to work the year I was five and was sent to live with him because of my behavior. Apparently, I was enough of a monster that she was given permission to smack me with a belt as the other kids she watched pointed and laughed at my tears.

I set off into a run and tackle her to the ground. My knife pierces the skin of her throat as I was unstoppable. I turn my head and look to Jason Green, the boy that took my virginity and told my Auntie Debbie, also part of the reason I wasn’t allowed to visit my family in South Glade. He meets my eyes as I drive the knife into his eye, pulling it away as the eyeball sticks to the blade as he screams in pain.

There were bullets racing past my head, fists everywhere as few struck my cheek bones. There was blood everywhere and it didn’t bother me in the slightest as long as I added more.

A random old man tackles me to the ground and starts beating me with his cane. My foot sweeps him to the ground and I reach for him, only for the pastor to stab him with part of the flag that held the confederate flag. I was sure the look on my face had one of fury as I pulled off my belt from my jeans and wrapped it around his neck, riding him like a bull at the state fair. He gasped for breath and fought me as hard as he could as he tried to dig his elbow into my side.

I couldn’t stop myself as I pulled the belt tighter and tighter until an explosion threw me off of him. My vision became blurry as my head pounded. Through the blur, I could see the gentleman killing most of the church goers including Debbie as he swung a fire axe into her neck, chopping her neck halfway. I smiled and closed my eyes as everything was silent.

“Magdalene.”

I was shaken awake as the gentleman looks down on me. I waited for my body to launch forward and kill him but I only looked around to the bodies of everyone dead in the church. I was mostly covered in blood but not my own as I slowly start screaming and shaking. The gentleman puts his arms around me and puts his hand over my mouth to keep my quiet.

“Shh, shh, shh. It’s still not safe.”

“What just happened? What the fuck just happened?!”

“Did you get a SIM card?”

“What?”

“Did you get one of the free SIM cards?”

I was in line, the next one to get one of Valentine’s free SIM cards when I had gotten the text about Nana being pulled off life support. The exchange would have only been 15 minutes but my Nana, my whole world meant more than a fucking piece of plastic.

“No, I swear.”

He held my face with both of his hands and looked into my eyes.

“Good.”

He looked to the window of the church looking to the street and sighed.

“You stay here until I get back, Magdalene.”

“How do you know my name?”

“The unrelated event of your mugging was that of someone from this hate group. Your aunt wasn’t a part of it, however. Now stay here.”

He got to his feet and straightened his suit as he disappeared through the front of the doors. Of course, I wasn’t one to follow directions. I guess I was a bastard after all.

I carefully sneak for the front doors of the church and can hear someone else that wasn’t the gentleman but I did hear a faint chuckle.

“Sounds good to me.”

I remember the smoothness of his voice the same way he called my name.

“Well this ain’t that kind of movie.”

A gunshot made me jump as I rushed to cover the scream from my mouth.

“Is he dead?”

“That tends to happen when you shot someone in the head. It feels good, right?”

I sank to my knees and let the tears run from my eyes as the man and a woman went back and forth but I couldn’t help but ignore them as the sounds of wheels sped away. I waited for as long as I could and turned out the door. I wasn’t able to choke back the sob that escaped me as I broke for the gentleman as a pool of blood collected under his head.

“Oh, fuck,” I panted as I tried to look around for help but I knew the closest help was slaughtered inside the church.

I screamed as a hand wrapped around my wrist. The gentleman gasped for breath as he reached into his pocket. He opened his body hand to a few bloody hundred dollar bills and a set of keys. He fought to stay awake as he pressed them all into my hand.

“Go… home…”

“No, we need to call the cops!”

“Mag… Go home. Go home and don’t look back.”

His hand slipped from mine as he stopped breathing in my arms. The sun shone on my skin for a good few minutes as I held the gentleman. I looked into his pocket for any kind of identification but found nothing. I wanted to stay with him, the strange gentleman with the English accents and the well-tailored suit but there was really no point in staying. The smell of the rotting church was the only thing helping me get to my feet and heading for the rented Jag.

It was a long time since I had drove stick shift but I was glad that Debbie’s house was far off into the fields past the high school which was at least half a mile from town. I took my time and stayed in first gear as I pulled into the lovely racist’s house. I turned off the transmission and sat few hours until the sun went down. When I finally took a breath, I looked around the corners of the Jag and found the rental agreement belonging to the gentleman.

_Jonathon Harry Smith._

There was no way that it could have been his name but I stayed in the rental, feeling safe and falling asleep until the roosters woke me up the next morning.

My neck hurt from sleeping in the Jag during the night as I shuffled into the house. I turned on the news full blast seeing the reports of people around the world attacking each other at the same time. The South Glade massacre was amongst the local news but my gentleman’s body was no were on the scene when news crews arrived. Perhaps, it was for the best. He certainly wasn’t one of them.

“World’s just lost its shit,” I mumbled as I sulked into the bathroom and washed all the dried blood from my body and from my gentleman’s money.

The last I would need was to be handing over a bloody dollar bill to pay for gas.

With no more reason to stay, I packed my bags and looked around to Debbie’s home. Her Jesus’ were looking at me from every which way. I gave them the finger and packed up my Nana’s jewelry and her urn of ashes and sat them in the passenger side seat of the Jag. I buckled my Nana in and threw the car into gear, shredding the gas as dirt covered the side of the house and helped me propel forward back home to the near freeway.


End file.
